Grieving is a natural and normal response to loss. It's not an illness, though it can sometimes feel like one. It won’t last forever, even if it sometimes feels like the pain will never end. There's no "right" way to grieve; each of us experiences it in our own way. Many of our clients have shared their feelings with us, and here are some common emotions they’ve experienced.
Common Feelings After Losing Someone
Shock and Numbness Initially, you might feel shocked or numb, carrying on as if nothing has changed. This happens because it can take a long time to process what has occurred. You might also feel disoriented, as if you’ve lost your place in the world. It’s important to know these feelings are normal.
Pain The death of someone close is one of the most devastating experiences. It can feel incredibly painful, often described as being cut in two or losing a part of oneself. These feelings can be very frightening and upsetting.
Anger Feeling angry when someone dies is normal. Death can seem cruel and unfair, especially if the person died young or you had plans for the future together. You might feel angry at the person who died, at others, or even at yourself for things you did or didn’t do while they were alive.
Guilt Guilt is another common reaction to grief. You might feel directly or indirectly to blame for the death or feel guilty if you had a difficult relationship with the person. Try not to be hard on yourself; it's very unlikely you could have prevented the death.
Depression You may feel depressed after losing someone close. It can feel like nothing matters, and you might even feel like you don’t want to go on. If you start to feel suicidal, please talk to someone. You can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or call 999 in an emergency. Your GP can also provide information about local mental health support.
Seeing and Hearing the Person Sometimes, people think they can hear or see the person who has died. You might find yourself constantly thinking about the events leading up to the death. “Seeing” the person and hearing their voice can happen as your brain tries to process and accept the death. This is normal.
Physical Feelings It’s common to feel physically ill after someone dies. The pain of grief can manifest as real physical pain, affecting every part of your health.
When Will I Feel Better?
Many people ask how long grief will last. The truth is, healing comes slowly but it does come. Nothing can replace the person who has died, but gradually, most people find they can continue with life and start to feel happy at times, while still remembering their loved ones.
At Birrell Corrance, we are here to support you through your grief journey. Remember, you’re not alone, and it's okay to seek help when you need it.
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